Dog vs. Cat Diaries
Jan 7, 2007 19:07:43 GMT -5
Post by Girl Power on Jan 7, 2007 19:07:43 GMT -5
KAL_EL just sent me this. I had seen it a few years ago, but I laughed at it again. It's one of my favorite internet forwards.
Now that I have a cat, I think it's even funnier!
DOG vs CAT D I A R Y
From a Dog's Daily Diary:
----------------------------------------------------
8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
9:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
9:40 am - Oh Boy! A Walk! My Favorite!
10:00 am - Oh Boy! Getting petted! My favorite!
11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
Noon - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Yard! My Favorite!
4:00 pm - Oh Boy! To the Park! My Favorite!
5:00 pm - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
5:30 pm - Oh Boy! Pretty Mums! My Favorite!
6:00 pm - Oh Boy! Playing Ball! My Favorite!
6:30 pm - Oh Boy! Watching TV with my Master! My Favorite!
8:30 pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in Master's Bed! My Favorite!
From a Cat's Daily Diary:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Day 483 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh food while I am
forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild
scolding I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow
I may eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the
stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this
on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt
to make them aware of what I am ! capable of and to try to strike fear
into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good
little cat I was. Hmmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the
noise and smell of food. More importantly, I overheard that my
confinement was due to my power of "allergies." I must learn what
this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The
dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit.
The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks
with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to
his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.
But I can wait; it is only a matter of time...
Now that I have a cat, I think it's even funnier!
DOG vs CAT D I A R Y
From a Dog's Daily Diary:
----------------------------------------------------
8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
9:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
9:40 am - Oh Boy! A Walk! My Favorite!
10:00 am - Oh Boy! Getting petted! My favorite!
11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
Noon - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Yard! My Favorite!
4:00 pm - Oh Boy! To the Park! My Favorite!
5:00 pm - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
5:30 pm - Oh Boy! Pretty Mums! My Favorite!
6:00 pm - Oh Boy! Playing Ball! My Favorite!
6:30 pm - Oh Boy! Watching TV with my Master! My Favorite!
8:30 pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in Master's Bed! My Favorite!
From a Cat's Daily Diary:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Day 483 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh food while I am
forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild
scolding I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow
I may eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the
stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this
on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt
to make them aware of what I am ! capable of and to try to strike fear
into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good
little cat I was. Hmmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the
noise and smell of food. More importantly, I overheard that my
confinement was due to my power of "allergies." I must learn what
this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The
dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit.
The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks
with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to
his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.
But I can wait; it is only a matter of time...